Random Saying, Quotes and Stuff

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1.) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Feel free to add to it, or just post any quotes of your own!

~Muse On Paper

2) Your mobile´s ringtone should be your scream (try to make it convincing)

3) Always bring a peanut, a piece of string and a notebook with you (to have these items, you must read the book "1000 ways to kill a person with a peanut, a piece of string and a notebook")

LOL

4) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice

Double LOL
5) When you´re doing an exam, the answer to all questions should be: "You know what´s the right answer", "It wasn´t my fault" or "I can´t answer this because I forgot to bring my cheat sheet"

6)Always drive and eat with your feet

7) You should only take a bath once a month

LMAO!

Go skinny-dipping in a local fountain.

I did that once! but I wasn´t naked =P

Always wear sunglasses, a T-shirt, shorts and sandals when it´s raining (I did this yesterday. Stupid weird spanish weather)

Read all the books that have the words "for dummies" in the title. Ex: Internet for dummies, Suicide for dummies, Economy for dummies.

Point at everything and everyone and then say "AH AH"

LOL

Wear a black coat, black pants, black top and sunglases and walk into a store. Hold a walkie-talkie against your ear while you walk around, pretending to talk into it. When someone asks you what you're doing point behind them, scream 'Look out!', push them into a shelf, and run.

I did it once. I moved the next day XD

ROFLMAO! X3

Sleep upside down. It´s more comfortable. (at least that´s what my cousin Dracula told me)

When you´re in a supermarket, hide behind stuff and yell to people "This is Sparta!". Whe an employee appears, tell him that you´re playing hide and seek

Haha!!

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.

Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance with the Prophecy'.

Don't use any punctuation.

XD

Remember, everyone´s your enemy. Even the toaster!

When you see a plane or a helicopter in the sky, ask the person next to you how does it fly. If the person says that doesn´t know, tell him/her: "Because the people that are on that thing believe in fairies"

LOL love the toaster one!

The earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I used to think I was weird, now I know I'm just interesting.

I want to die laughing like my grandpa did, not like the passangers in his car.

I adore all of those!

I think, therefore I could be a great president.

Monkeys are not your friends. They´re your cousins.

If someone tells you that you´re insane, you say "Of course! It´s the new fashion!"

LOL

This isn't an office. It's Hell with flourescent lighting.

Remember, you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.

LMAO

Don´t panic! That´s my job!


If you think school´s bad, wait ´till you meet my family. They´re all teachers.